Using pain to stay present

This topic contains 2 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  subMarie *AMB/Sir Ed 3 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #34248
     Cherished 
    Participant

    Premium subMrs™

    On our recent journey, mixing pain with pleasure…I am discovering a new reason for pain. I have always had trouble staying present during long sex sessions. My mind would go to fantasies to reach orgasm or if I wasn’t fully engaged, it would stray to the mundane(did I remember to prep the coffee, my grocery list, and so on). Finally after 17 years, I confessed this to MrG that I wasn’t truly present with him. No judging from him just him wondering how we could remedy this so my mind, thoughts stayed on him and in our most intimate times together.

    When he first introduce the crop, it stung and still does. But I found that a steady rhythm was calming my brain, slowing my breathing and my mind had no room for any outside thoughts but embracing the pain and then allowing that physical discomfort to lead me.

    As he uses this technique, he checks in frequently to see where my thoughts are. I am not punished when I am “wandering” but brought back to present with a flick of whatever he has chosen to use often the handle of the crop which quickly jolts me back and resets me.

    There are no words for reaching orgasm when you and your lover are connecting mentally and physically. Often I can’t hear his words of affirmation when I go there. I can feel his pleasure as he watches me come completely undone over and over.

  • #34272
     Hisgirl*AMB/GH 
    Participant

    Premium subMrs™

    Cherished, I totally understand how you feel! When I’m super stressed or letting my insecurities take over my thoughts, impact/pain play is really the only thing that clears my mind and gives me peace.

  • #34278
     subMarie *AMB/Sir Ed 
    Moderator

    Premium subMrs™

    Cherished, I think as woman our minds are programmed to multi-task. When my mind begins to wander I simply remind my Sir to “please, talk to me.” I have found that the more vocal he is with me, the less likely I am to begin thinking about other things. I have also found that the dirtier he speaks to me the quicker I reach orgasm. 🙂

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