Kneel hat Do You Feel group February 2018
- February 20, 2018 at 8:03 pm #29517
Welcum subMrs !! Please use this forum to talk about your experience while kneeling for the challenge.
- February 21, 2018 at 6:49 pm #29529Kleine/KönigParticipantPremium subMrs™
Moving my post to the designated area 🙂
I decided to copy word for word what is written in my journal each day. When I kneel without my Sir I still follow a ritual. First I set a timer so that I don’t focus on time or looking at a clock. I gather my fur blanket and lay it where my knees will fall. Then, I strip down to nothing but my collar and get on my knees.
Day 1: I repeat the S.O.A.P. mantra in my head to help me focus on my Sir and my submission to him. I reflected on this past week. I have been sick with the flu unable to preform my submissive duties/ rituals. I have missed them. I thought I would have felt bratty and needy without them, but that is not the case. After such a hard week behind us I feel humbled and cared for. Not only did he handle everything around the house, he took care of me. He got me anything and everything I could have asked for. He stayed up with me during those longs nights of fever and coughing rubbing my back telling me everything was going to be okay. He was my Dominate and my husband. My HusDom. How lucky am I to have a man to fuck me rough and love me tender? The timer still had went off and I started to fidget. My patiences were wearing thin. I can hear his voice in my head “be still Meine Kleine, shoulders back.” I refocus longing to see his feet by my side. I can’t wait for him to be home. This challenge is exactly what I needed to get back on track to the mindset of his submissive. I want to be ready for him as he arrives home. Waiting on my knees to unlace his work boots and put them way. Once he sits down I will find my place at his feet as he tells me about his day. My alarm goes off. Until tomorrow. I can’t help but smile as I stand. I love Mein König.
Day 2: Sir instructed me on what he wanted me to focus on. Bondage, Trust, and Presence. I had asked my Sir if he ever noticed submissive traits in me before we started D/s-M. His answered swiftly that I did. Of course I wanted details. He said he would share one at a time and talk about it. Today he shared that he always felt my presence. Even before I was his. That look in my eyes that I would follow him no matter what. I would. I know what look he speaks of because I remember the feelings that followed. I wanted to be with the man with the plan, the exciting one that always made me feel safe. I thought about many different times he has shared with me over time and how that look had faded with the vanilla. How I have shot down his ideas instead of supporting them and how I get distracted with responsibility instead of putting Mein König first. I don’t want to be so distracted that Mein König does not think I would follow him. I want him to see that look in my eye again that made him feel like he could do anything. I will be more mindful of my presence and find new ways to make sure he has my support and undivided attention. I will be more pleasant, more aware of my body language, and be sure to smile as he speaks. Thoughts of bondage and trust go hand in hand right now. Bondage is the power exchange my body longs for. I want to break down my own walls by giving him physical control. Bond our hearts closer with a little rope. I have seen what Mein König can do with a rope and I want to be apart of his art work…. my timer goes off. I can’t wait to share my thoughts with Mein König when he arrives home. I love it when he supplies directions.
- February 25, 2018 at 3:55 pm #29571Kleine/KönigParticipantPremium subMrs™
Life got in the way and some days were skipped but not forgotten. Friday night was my Day 3: I knew I didn’t have a lot of time, Sir had made dinner reservations. So I choose to do things a little different than I have in the past I knelt beside the shower as he freshened up from a days work. I knew he would want to talk to me about his day and that I wouldn’t have silence but as always, even when alone, I am kneeling for my Sir. He didn’t know what I was doing till he peaked out. He apologized for interrupting me. That bothered me. I was kneeling for him. There is nothing he could do to interrupt me. I kneel to focus on my submission to him. I explained that to him and he seemed pleased. This made me realize that I need to do more things that are only for my Sir’s pleasure. #1 question this weeks downtime.
- February 22, 2018 at 2:34 pm #29538Anonymous
Yesterday was my first day kneeling for this challenge. I had asked for advice on how to make it successful from other subs in the group chats and they said to put a pillow under your bum and under your knees to make it really comfy and align your spine right. I did that, and it was so much better than the last challenge I participated in. I set up some lightly playing classical music in room and settled in front of my mirror naked. I closed my eyes and allowed my mind to wander. I thought about the joy that all the years of submission has brought me, how being active in this community has made me happy, and how I am transferring energy and light by sharing my experiences by being an ambassador. My Sir says I am beautiful and I want to feel his words in my meditation, not stare at the image in the mirror and be critical of it. So I opened my eyes, and kept my line of sight to the edges for this first day. I noticed the length of my neck, the slope of my shoulder, the rise of my breathe, the angle of my elbow, the curve of my hips. I welcomed the image before me as one that was fully feminine. Fully submissive. Fully my Sir’s possession. I saw the beauty in that. For the first time, I did not allow a negative thought into my beautiful, positive, peaceful time. This is my present to my Sir. To take the time to retrain myself to see me how He sees me, thru His eyes. Then I just sat in this happy feeling. Relishing it. Letting it wash over me. Breathing it in and out. My goal was to sit still for 10 mins but when I glanced at the clock, 15 had passed. When I finally stood up, my legs were a little tingly but I was overcome with joy at how successful Day One had gone. I felt like my spirit could soar into the sky. I came out of the bedroom and gave my account to G8tr and he said, “Thank you for doing that for me.” Goodness, I love this man!
- February 22, 2018 at 4:07 pm #29543Subby4HubbyParticipantRegistered subMrs™
Today was my first day of the kneeling challenge… I’ve avoided partaking in it so far, because I have yet to kneel nude for my Sir, and have yet to learn from him if he would find enjoyment in me doing so. We only consciously started this dynamic a few weeks ago, and though we have experimented in D/s in the bedroom for years, we are both still trying to feel comfortable and confident in our Dominant and submissive mindsets. For me, it has been especially difficult to submit when submission has not been “earned” out of me (i.e.– I act bratty and he puts me in my place). Kneeling symbolizes a whole new submissive mindset for me, one where there is no struggle for power, but where it is freely given… so I knew this would be difficult.
I lit a candle, put a pillow on the ground and threw a soft faux-fur blanket over it, and then undressed myself to kneel for ten full minutes. Upon closing my eyes and relaxing, I found myself initially fighting through a wave of panic caused by overwhelming vulnerability. Rather than fight this vulnerability and panic, I breathed through it and eventually relaxed into it. I forced myself to focus on my posture– hands face up, shoulders back, head down. I sank into my submission, and it felt heavenly. I imagined kneeling for my Sir just like this in the bedroom as he showered…. my hands offering up a crop or a flogger for him to use on me, his eyes and hands roaming my body in appreciation when he came into the room. “Good girl” whispered through my head… I felt a shiver of excitement and satisfaction on the thought of pleasing him.
Unfortunately, my self-doubt soon after kicked in. “Would he like seeing me like this?” I wondered. “Would he enjoy my fully given submission, or would my passivity and lack of a fight make it difficult for him to find his Dominant side?” I then began to wonder what my body looked like in this position…. did my thighs look too thick, did my stomach roll more so than when I’m normally stretched out upon his bed and bound? I found myself letting my hands wander, analyzing if there would be anything that would be unpleasing to his eye.
I found myself checking the timer with just five seconds left, hoping I was almost done because my panic overwhelmed me once more. I then used my phone camera (as I did not have access to a mirror) to inspect my body and how it looked in a kneeling position. I know my self-consciousness is irrational– he tells me every time we are together how beautiful I am and how much he adores my body. I will need to talk or show my thoughts to Sir, as I realized much of my panic stems upon the possibility of him not enjoying me kneeling for him, and therefore, shame. I will continue to kneel over the next few days (and possibly, surprise him just as I had fantasized) and see if I can overcome this panic from newfound vulnerability.
- February 22, 2018 at 6:42 pm #29550babyBoop/MasterGParticipantRegistered subMrs™
I decided to participate in the 2018 kneeling challenge – I have not participated in this before. I kneel a lot for HusDom, but have never tried it on my own. Last night was my first night.
I set a timer for 20 minutes so I wouldn’t be focused on the time and I found some great meditation calming musing to listen to.
As you would expect, it was awkward at first, I was very fidgety at first – had to make myself refocus myself and concentrate on my breathing. I only worked on two positions to adjust for my legs getting tired.
I focused on the S.O.A.P. mindset repeatedly and my submission to MasterG. I had just started to focus on why I was drawn to being His subMrs when the timer went off – so I will begin there tonight!
- February 24, 2018 at 5:48 pm #29566
I have done this challenge many times now. I thought I would share a little from this round. I have been very busy with the site and it takes me attention constantly.
I kneeled the first day and got interrupted several times and gave up… LOL!
Second kneeling, I really tried to concentrate… got just to the point of finding that peace in my meditation and realized my time was already up and the alarm went off on my phone telling me my son would be home in minutes from school.
Third time is a charm and I got my time in and my thoughts, I struggled to get past the regular vanilla stuff in my head. But, then I had an AHA MOMENT! … I use this time to make peace today with the things plaguing my mind so I could next time go deeper.
Well, I can only say that this community is my life and I love it but it has taken over all my life and I feel guilt if I don’t get things done the way I always have…. in the past. We have grown so fast that it is impossible to continue the same attention to every member, I know that……Still, we have started the new premium memberships and I worry about doing enough or the right things for the site… LOL! I am my own worst enemy in worrying what I can not really control. So, I said, does this need my attention this minute, yes or no? NO.. I will write this and all my vanilla issues and write yes or no beside them … The NO’s I give myself permission to back shelve them. The yes’s I gave myself time to deal with them on my calendar and if I didn’t clear them up by that date then I ask Mr Fox for his help.
Today, my 4th kneeling, I woke up with a migraine, UGH! but thank GOD for Excedrin…. My thoughts today went directly to again, this stage of life, even in a new stage that started for me 6 yrs ago, I find that there are still parts of this stage that are really showing themselves for the first time.
#1- I have to work harder on my submission, it has taken another road in our journey, I want to explore it, desire it… but Mr Fox and I have not got to explore it, not really explore. Downtime and figure out how to do that…..
#2- I am lonely, but I am so busy I can’t hardly find time to do anything… HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?
Working on that one still…. Journal about the feelings.. then talk to Mr. Fox .
So, I guess that I wanted to show you all that it’s ok to have vanilla be a big part of what is on your mind during kneeling. Eventually, you will dig deep and find answers or find things that will lead you to answers that you may have not even realized they were questions…..
Love to hear more about your kneeling challenge… I will share more of mine…
- February 28, 2018 at 12:42 pm #29596KittyH/MrDH35ParticipantPremium subMrs™
Kneeling Day 1: What does being a submissive mean to me? Are my expectations too high?
Kneeling Day 2: I set an intention during yoga class today to be a light of love, happiness, and calm. I focused on that intention during kneeling, with the goal of being a light of love, happiness, calm, and submission in our D/s-M for my Sir. I struggled to come up with ideas to accomplish that goal.
Kneeling Day 3: I have a plan! I will ask my Sir again what his expectations are of D/s-M, what he wants from this dynamic, and what a dominant and submissive look like to him. I’ve been working on my submission but aren’t sure what I’m working toward.
I thought kneeling would be similar to meditation (a clearing of the mind and feeling calm and peaceful), but kneeling brought forth these questions that I need to contemplate. When we are solidly in D/s-M, I feel happy, safe, calm, sexy, beautiful–all good things! When the D/s-M connection isn’t there, I feel sad, anxious, lost, and lonely. That was my kneeling accomplishment–I need to find answers to these questions so that we can maintain D/s-M consistently. It’s a work in progress!
- January 14, 2019 at 11:02 pm #31571subMischief/RedParticipantPremium subMrs™
I’m thinking about doing this challenge but I’m not sure where to start. Obviously I know it starts with kneeling, but I feel like I should have something in mind while doing it. I’ve never been very good at meditating. I usually get very distracted. Any thoughts or suggestions?
- January 18, 2019 at 12:15 am #31602
kitten, in the post it tells you it takes a few times before being able to let those things come to the surface that you need to concentrate on. You can meditate or say a mantra. I think it takes time to settle into kneeling, so be patient with yourself. We will be doing a kneeling challenge very soon. We all get together and start together and report back to each other.
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