Being Only for My Dominant’s Pleasure | Domination and submission Married Couples

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Being Only for My Dominant’s Pleasure

Domination and submission for Married Couples

Where I am going and How I got Here

In my journey, a new chapter has begun with Mr Fox and I.  A new thing I am experiencing, fed by being only for my Dominant’s pleasure.  I, in the past, have always been concerned about my Sir’s pleasure or what pleases him, but I have always also been chasing my own pleasures, needs and wants.  I was concerned of what was in this for me as well as for him.

That’s fair right?

D/s-M is about both of you talking and setting up your dynamic, what is sustainable for you and your husDOM.  What we had settled upon was, you scratch my back and I will scratch yours, literally.  Mr. Fox and I have tried almost everything sexually within our D/s dynamic.  After 5 years of being his submissive or subMrs, I have found that I enjoy giving him pleasure more then even pleasing myself. Pleasing myself no longer feeds me. I have always liked being put through my paces in scenes and sex but now I have found that it is so much more rewarding being there just for his pleasure and being non-concerned about my own.

I don’t want my orgasms, I am not chasing my happy ending but I am NOW chasing his.  After all of our sexual exchanges, I want to know that he is satisfied in all that we have done.  I need to know that I have given and responded to him in ways that gives him pleasure.

This is what submission is about right?

It seems so elementary, yet if we are all honest about our dynamics we want to make sure we are getting our happiness fulfilled as well as our Dominant’s.

Mr Fox has been in the past always searching out my pleasure, veraciously.  That pleases him, finding my pleasure and giving me pleasure.  Today I want to give up my pleasure for his.  I wish that he takes pleasure in me just because that pleases him and it’s his want and desire.

I don’t want him to give me pleasure to make me happy…

This is an argument similar to does the tree make noise when it falls in the woods if there is no one to hear it.  Both sides of this coin can be argued.  Something has changed inside me that wants to just serve him and be his in any way that he pleases. I want him to seek whats down deep inside himself.

Is that not what I have already been doing?

I don’t think so…. My perspective has changed. Mr Fox has changed, his pleasure now has an equal amount of pain and pleasure.  Sex is almost taking a back seat to everything else. Giving me pain is fulfilling him and myself in ways it never had before.

May I ask, what is his pleasure ?

I revealed this to Mr Fox and he has suspected that something has changed between us, changed with me.  Our D/s-M dynamics have completely ruined vanilla sex for us both.  I believe this is the same for most couples once in Domination and submission and have gotten past the TWO YEAR WALL.  You have tasted more and therefore going back to vanilla style of sex feels unfulfilling and dull at best.  It’s like having the best healthy & filling meals then trying to go back and eat McDonald’s.

Mr Fox and I have had long downtimes talking about how to get our dynamics to reflect more of what I am feeling. My biggest question to him was “What is your pleasure?” What pleases him, not just sexually, I think that is the easy part. He is very able to take me wherever he wants me to go sexually.  But, what is it he would like for me to do to serve him better.

How may I serve you?

He likes to feel that I will endure some pain for him, whatever his choice of giving it may be.  It’s a change in him. The pain is taking front seat now over pleasure. When we speak of what really makes him tick or what does please him in Dominating me, he reminds me that he is, as most men are, a “BIG PICTURE” person. A big picture person is someone who cares about what the result is in the end and doesn’t get wrapped up in the details of how you get that picture. He sees end results, but maybe not how they got there.

I am, as most women are, it’s all in the details.  Mr Fox has over time gotten more detail oriented because many times my submission is a direct result of his Dominance. Which that is something that has changed after the 2 yr mark for us. When we were new I used to guide him and in downtime voice any concerns or details that may want to be looked at when planning things.

Now, he has of course engaged BIG time in his role and looks at many details through his eyes.  Still though when we spoke of his deepest pleasures, he still looked at them with Big Picture glasses.  He took a few days thinking about it in DETAIL.  He at this stage of our journey wants to explore more of me earning my pleasure through his administering some pain.  I am wanting to explore more pain as well. We both are lucky we have both grown into these roles at the right time, together.

Are We Talking Slavery or Sadomasochism?

You may have read books like, The MarketPlace, when submissive’s endure pain because it calls to them more than their owner’s cock even.  It does something for the submissive’s to be owned body and soul.  Owned like a piece of property. Slavery was their job.  It again fulfills them more then any sex or individual can.  This has begun to feel much like my story or where our dynamic is going. I am a submissive, it is my job, it is who I am as an individual not just as a couple.

I do not believe there is any place for a real slave dynamic in real life but I do believe in “slave-play”.  What we are experiencing is tasting another piece of the D/s-M pizza, called pain-play.  I am a submissive wife, a subMrs.  Sometimes, I just want to be the submissive and not the wife, then I realize I have what every single submissive wants and what every house wife desires, a man that will keep me from falling into my own trap and one that will die trying to make my dreams come true, one really kinky encounter or experience after another. I do have the BEST of both worlds. I thank him everyday for his Dominance and for being my husDOM.

Sadomasochism defined as an interaction, especially sexual activity, in which one person enjoys inflicting physical or mental suffering on another person, who derives pleasure from experiencing pain.  

Is this where we are going MAYBE, yes…… to be continued…. 

Is it Still the D/s-M Circle?

Are we still feeding each other from our circle of D/s-M.  Yes, we are feeding one another. Mr Fox giving me the pain and pleasure he desires and that being his desire then I am content knowing that that pain and pleasure is what he wants for me. We are using the circle just as we did before.

Every journey is a very personal one for every couple. I thought I would share where Mr. Fox and I were in ours. Not every journey travels the same roads or in the same timing so take this post and accept it for what it is…. Our journey.

We wish every D/s-M couple the best in their journey’s.  If you have any questions about the post or maybe you’re feeling like I am… Please comment on post or email me


“As this new warm breeze blows around me and sweeps me up just like it does those big beautiful orange fall leaves, I am going to let the breeze lead me to where the forces want me to go.  Take me away to where I can serve my Sir and myself the best that I can.  No regrets.”


Do you care enough to make this who you are? Is this who you are to your core? A good question to ask yourself and your husDOM. 




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    1. Veruca, I feel like everyone shares and that should include myself. Mr Fox and I are human and just regular people trying to find our way and working hard at both our roles. I enjoyed writing the post. I hope that everyone can take a tid-bit from it no matter where they are at in their journey and let it inspire them further into their D/s-M.

      HUGS! LK

  1. Oh my…I have been feeling the same way. I have been wanting to fulfill his deepest desires and make sure he is truly satisfied. I know that he is wanting me to be pleasured, but it is my life to make sure that he is getting everything he needs and wants. Being his submissive is exciting and so pleasurable in itself, but seeing that true dominance and pleasure in him is exciting and rewarding to me.

  2. Dear LK, out of interest, what do you think the you of 5 years ago, starting out on your journey would think of this post, where you are now.
    Thanks x

    1. Many of my posts mean different things to other subs even myself after a bit of time. Depending on where you are at in your journey when you read it. I think you can only pull what you can relate to at that time. Some pass judgement if they don’t understand or some just read over it and pull what they can and move forward. Coming back at some point to review it again and only pull something more from it. 5 Years ago I would not have been able to pull all that I wrote today. My hope is at any stage that you can pull a small tid-bit of info that may inspire you in your own journey. HUGS! LK

      1. Hi LK, I really sorry if you felt I was passing judgment, that definitely was not my intention.
        I just find it interesting where our paths lead us, how the destinations change, and are further than imagined (not wrong or less valid). Sorry if I’m rambling.
        With reflection I’m obviously at a much more selfish place at the moment. Greedy.
        Thanks for the insightful post, V x

  3. Thank you so much for sharing this LK! This post is so very heartfelt and honest. I love how open you are with all of us. It shows how much you truly care about this community. The very first sentence of this post had me completely captivated as you described the start of a “new chapter” for you and Mr. Fox. My Sir and I are also going through a new chapter in life, but in a very different way. This post about the positive aspects of a new chapter gives me so much hope that only good things will come of this new season of our lives. Thank you for opening up this way!

  4. Wonderful post, LK! This one really spoke to me. I appreciate your willingness to share so we can all grow together. Though our journey has been slow, it has been exciting to see the change in our marriage over the past two years. Just like you mentioned we’ve also realized going back to vanilla will never be an option for us. This lifestyle is a constant journey of self discovery…it’s always thrilling to see where it takes us.


    1. Thanks HisRed, Everyone’s roads are different to where they take their D/s-M. It is all in that both of you are on that road and working toward the same destination or “pit-stop”. I hope this inspires you on your road.. HUGS! LK

  5. LK, this is such a beautiful post. You ha s such a knack for self expression. Some of what you wrote really resonates with me. I am nowhere near perfecting my submission to a point where I don’t think about my own pleasure, but in some ways, I can relate. I struggle with feeling guilty because my Sir’s greatest pleasure seems to be In giving me pleasure. He rarely takes me for his own pleasure, and as silly as it is… it makes me feel bad. He has said that is what he wants, and so I try to wrap my head around it, but I crave being put through my paces, feeling pain because I know it pleases him to endure it. I crave those kind of challenges when we play, but it’s not where he is. So, I am working on changing my mind. 🙂

    1. Angelica, I am so pleased that you can feel my post inside yourself. It’s one of the biggest compliments that can be given to someone. Thank you! Just keep building the foundation of your marriage and you both will find your place that fits for you both in D/s-M…. Again, THANK YOU! LK

  6. I am so interested in this new chapter you are entering with Mr. Fox. Thank you for sharing, and be my mentor-as such.

    Warm regards,

  7. LK to be honest with you
    I do understand the New dynamics you have reached. For i too hope for my journey to take me to that level of total trust,bondage, love of your souls together on your journey . 2018 will prove to be a real journey for you and will be inspiring to me as you share . By my asking for pain in my journey is to associate my pain to his pleasure. We have a long way to go on our journey.
    2018 is for me to communicate my desires. Thankyou for sharing your journey where you and Mr Fox have come to as a couple.
    My warmest Thank you

    1. Fantesea, Always push through and lean on one another to find the highest heights you can get to in your special dynamics. I am still the student and I still have lots to learn myself. Thank you for always having such kind words of encouragement for me and every one here on site. You’re truly an inspiration…. HUGS! LK