Being Only for My Dominant’s Pleasure
Domination and submission for Married Couples
Where I am going and How I got Here
In my journey, a new chapter has begun with Mr. Fox and I. A new thing I am experiencing, fed by being only for my Dominant’s pleasure. I, in the past, have always been concerned about my Sir’s pleasure or what pleases him, but I have always also been chasing my own pleasures, needs and wants. I was concerned about what was in this for me as well as for him.
That’s fair right?
D/s-M is about both of you talking and setting up your dynamic, what is sustainable for you, and your husDOM. What we had settled upon was, you scratch my back and I will scratch yours, literally. Mr. Fox and I have tried almost everything sexually within our D/s dynamic. After 5 years of being his submissive or subMrs, I have found that I enjoy giving him pleasure more than even pleasing myself. Pleasing myself no longer feeds me. I have always liked being put through my paces in scenes and sex but now I have found that it is so much more rewarding being there just for his pleasure and being non-concerned about my own.
I don’t want my orgasms, I am not chasing my happy ending but I am NOW chasing his. After all of our sexual exchanges, I want to know that he is satisfied with all that we have done. I need to know that I have given and responded to him in ways that gives him pleasure.
This is what submission is about right?
It seems so elementary, yet if we are all honest about our dynamics we want to make sure we are getting our happiness fulfilled as well as our Dominant’s.
Mr. Fox has been in the past always searching out my pleasure, veraciously. That pleases him, finding my pleasure and giving me pleasure. Today I want to give up my pleasure for his. I wish that he takes pleasure in me just because that pleases him and it’s his want and desire.
I don’t want him to give me pleasure to make me happy…
This is an argument similar to does the tree make noise when it falls in the woods if there is no one to hear it. Both sides of this coin can be argued. Something has changed inside me that wants to just serve him and be his in any way that he pleases. I want him to seek what’s down deep inside himself.
Is that not what I have already been doing?
I don’t think so…. My perspective has changed. Mr. Fox has changed, his pleasure now has an equal amount of pain and pleasure. Sex is almost taking a back seat to everything else. Giving me pain is fulfilling him and myself in ways it never had before.
May I ask, what is his pleasure?
I revealed this to Mr. Fox and he has suspected that something has changed between us, changed with me. Our D/s-M dynamics have completely ruined vanilla sex for us both. I believe this is the same for most couples once in Domination and submission and have gotten past the TWO YEAR WALL. You have tasted more and therefore going back to the vanilla style of sex feels unfulfilling and dull at best. It’s like having the best healthy & filling meals then trying to go back and eat McDonald’s.
Mr Fox and I have had long downtimes talking about how to get our dynamics to reflect more of what I am feeling. My biggest question to him was “What is your pleasure?” What pleases him, not just sexually, I think that is the easy part. He is very able to take me wherever he wants me to go sexually. But, what is it he would like for me to do to serve him better?
How may I serve you?
He likes to feel that I will endure some pain for him, whatever his choice of giving it may be. It’s a change in him. The pain is taking the front seat now over pleasure. When we speak of what really makes him tick or what does please him in Dominating me, he reminds me that he is, as most men are, a “BIG PICTURE” person. A big picture person is someone who cares about what the result is in the end and doesn’t get wrapped up in the details of how you get that picture. He sees end results, but maybe not how they got there.
I am, as most women are, it’s all in the details. Mr. Fox has over time gotten more detail-oriented because many times my submission is a direct result of his Dominance. Which is something that has changed after the 2 yr mark for us. When we were new I used to guide him and in downtime voice any concerns or details that may want to be looked at when planning things.
Now, he has of course engaged BIG time in his role and looks at many details through his eyes. Still though when we spoke of his deepest pleasures, he still looked at them with Big Picture glasses. He took a few days thinking about it in DETAIL. He at this stage of our journey wants to explore more of me earning my pleasure through his administering some pain. I am wanting to explore more pain as well. We both are lucky we have both grown into these roles at the right time, together.
Are We Talking Slavery or Sadomasochism?
You may have read books like The MarketPlace, when submissive’s endure pain because it calls to them more than their owner’s cock even. It does something for the submissive’s to be owned body and soul. Owned like a piece of property. Slavery was their job. It again fulfills them more than any sex or individual can. This has begun to feel much like my story or where our dynamic is going. I am a submissive, it is my job, it is who I am as an individual not just as a couple.
I do not believe there is any place for a real slave dynamic in real life but I do believe in “slave-play”. What we are experiencing is tasting another piece of the D/s-M pizza, called pain-play. I am a submissive wife, a subMrs. Sometimes, I just want to be the submissive and not the wife, then I realize I have what every single submissive wants and what every housewife desires, a man that will keep me from falling into my own trap and one that will die trying to make my dreams come true, one really kinky encounter or experience after another. I do have the BEST of both worlds. I thank him every day for his Dominance and for being my husDOM.
Sadomasochism defined as an
Is it Still the D|s-M Circle?
Are we still feeding each other from our circle of D|s-M. Yes, we are feeding one another. Mr Fox giving me the pain and pleasure he desires and that being his desire then I am content knowing that that pain and pleasure is what he wants for me. We are using the circle just as we did before.
Every journey is a very personal one for every couple. I thought I would share where Mr. Fox and I were in ours. Not every journey travels the same roads or at the same timing so take this post and accept it for what it is…. Our journey.
We wish every D/s-M couple the best in their journey’s. If you have any questions about the post or maybe you’re feeling like I am… Please comment on the post or email me LK@subMrs.com
“As this new warm breeze blows around me and sweeps me up just like it does those big beautiful orange fall leaves, I am going to let the breeze lead me to where the forces want me to go. Take me away to where I can serve my Sir and myself the best that I can. No regrets.”
Do you care enough to make this who you are? Is this who you are to your core? A good question to ask yourself and your husDOM.